Worth
by Teamjacob46
Summary: After John and Sam get into another fight, John sends Dean on a hunt. When he gets back, Sam's acting strange. Like John's perfect little soldier. WARNING! Rated M because of Child Abuse and Evil!John!
1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note: BROTHERLY LOVE TIME! …I've put these boys through so much…so, I wanted to write something where something goes good for them. …SCREW THAT! Let's put them through hell! (not literally…)**

…**If Kripke ever found out what I was doing to these boys…*sigh***

**Dean-19 Sam-15**

'Dammit, Dean!' John yelled, racing to the car, throwing the gun in and getting in the driver's side.

Dean just hung his head, knowing what was coming next. He would yell at him for compromising the hunt.

'Dad, please,' Sam mumbled, barley conscious.

We had been hunting a werewolf near Okalahoma. Sam was suppose to distract it while Dad shot. I was there to lead it to Sam. I did my part, leading it to Sam, though I didn't like it. Sam started running, and I hid in some bushes where I could see everything.

The bastard was faster then we thought, though. Sam got a deep cut in his shoulder. I went ahead and shot the thing before it could hurt him more. I shot it between the ribs, knowing I had punctured a lung, but that wasn't good enough for Dad.

'I told you, I would shoot it! It could still be alive out there! Sam would have been just fine!'

'Dad, shut the hell up. That thing was about to kill me. Dean saved my life, and all your worried about is some werewolf that will die of either blood loss or suffocation in less then 12 hours! Dad, Dean did the reasonable thing!'

I stared at Sam as he finished his terrible rant. He was sitting half-up, forgetting the pain in his outburst.

'Don't you tell me what to do, Sam. Don't you dare question what I do or don't know! I've been at this longer than you have!' Dad said in this creepy low voice that freaked me out. I flinched a bit at the tone, but Sam just stared determinedly in his eyes.

'I should know, Dad! You seem to forget that I'm the one who fights monsters for the mother I never even met ! I was the one who was raised in crappy hotel rooms with Dean watching out for me before I was one! You're stopped calling when I was three because you thought we were mature enough to stay by ourselves on our own! You where never there for us unless you where training us! Otherwise you where passed out drunk or on a hunt!'

I stared at Sam. He stared at Dad, a fierce look in his eyes.

'Sam, lay down,' I mumble, a bit shocked, as I push him down, making sure not to hurt him.

After he's laying still, I check his wounds. He'll need stitches. I shook my head, surprised that he always seems to find this much trouble. His shoulder had been hurt three times in the past month, his arm broken twice in the past six months, and sixteen broken ribs in the last two months. This is unlucky, even for a Winchester.

We drove home in silence, me stitching up Sam in the back seat while Dad threw angry glances at us every once in a while.

When we got the motel room, Sam had fallen asleep. Weather it was do to previous blood loss or the medication, I didn't know. I carried him inside, careful not to hurt his new stitches.

'Dean,' Dad said after I put Sam in bed, lying him down and putting a blanket on him, 'I need a favor of you. Could you take a hunt down in Texas?'

I was surprised. I usually didn't get to go on a solo hunt after I messed up for a month.

'Yeah!' I said, realizing I had just been staring into space for about a minute.

'Great. There are some newspapers on the desk.'

'Thanks!' I said. That night I studied the newspapers, computer, hell, I even went to the library.

'So?' Dad said the next day at lunch while Sam was at school.

'It's a coven. Vampires. It'll take a while to finish up this hunt. A month, month and a half?'

Dad nodded. 'Sounds like you know what your doing. After Sam gets home, you can say bye to him and head off.

I nodded, not knowing what I was getting myself into.

**Author's Note…again: Hmm…John seems to want Dean out of the house. Next chapter will be up soon!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Authors Note: Well, it seems a lot of people would like me to continue this story, so…here you go! **

**I don't own Supernatural…but if I did…John would be hated…by everyone…yes, even Dean.**

I finished the hunt in the estimated time. One and a half months filled with research, a crappy hotel, and (finally!) the hunt. I defiantly didn't worry about Sam. Nope. Didn't lose any sleep or anything!

…okay. I was never good at lying to myself. Of course I missed him. I mean…I kept thinking why Dad let me go, especially after he and Sam get into a huge fight.

I open the door, almost fearing what I would find…

I quickly pushed the thought from my mind. I mean, it's not like Dad killed Sammy, right?

…right?

…

I rushed through the door, crazy happy to see Sam, sitting on the crappy hotel couch, reading a book. I swear, that kid was such a dork.

I smiled as I looked at him.

'Hey,' I say softly, not wanting to ruin the moment of silence for once.

Sam looked up at me with his big hazel eyes and smiled. I could tell that he was happy to see me, but I thought I saw something else in his thoughtful eyes for just a moment.

I was probably nothing though. Sammy was so emotional all the time, it was hard to tell if I was just seeing things.

But yet, something nagged at me. I couldn't toss the feeling that something was wrong.

About that time Dad walked in.

I noticed Sammy straighten up like he always does, but something was defiantly off. Usually when Dad comes in, Sam's thinking two steps ahead. What will Dad say? What's his motives? What can I say back? Can I win the argument?

But his time, Sam looks scared. He looks at John for a split second, then looks away, back down at his book, hands shaking just a bit.

Yeah. Something is defiantly wrong. And I plan on finding out what.


	3. Chapter 3

I looked at Sam confused for a minute.

'Dean, how about you tell me about your hunt?' John asked, innocent enough.

He took a seat by Sam on the couch. Sam sat up even straighter, if possible, and I thought I saw a smile on John's face for just a moment.

'Pretty good. Hey, you okay, Sam? You look kinda sick,' I say, trying to sound casual.

'He's fine,' John said, his voice leaving no room for compromise.

'Okay…,' I say, turning away from John. 'If your alright, Sam, could you help me unpack?'

'Sure,' Sam said, smiling as he got up off the couch.

I walked into our room(we actually paid a bit extra to have two rooms in the place) and put my bags on my bed, closest to the door, naturally.

'Okay, I'll start putting the weapons up. Could you grab my clothes?' I ask, staring at the bags, like that'll make them suddenly put themselves away.

'Yeah,' Sam said, smiling slightly as he walked over to the bed and grabbed the biggest bag.

'Thanks,' I said, grabbing the smaller bag.

As I start to put the weapons away, I look back at Sam, realizing for the first time he was wearing all long sleeves. I mean…long clothes aren't unusual for Sammy, but he usually wears a short sleeve shirt, then various jackets and hoodies on top of it.

My thinking stopped when Sam was stretching to put something on the top shelf of the small closet and his shirt rode up a little bit. I nearly gasped as I saw black and blue across the normally tan skin.

'Sam…' I mumbled, still staring at him after he turned around.

'What?' Sam asked innocently.

'…nothing. Just…nothing,' I say, turning away.

We got done unpacking and went back to the living room. I told Sam all about the hunt, and he seemed much more at ease.

By the end of the night, I had managed to convince myself that the bruises were probably just from a hunt. I mean…they had to be. It couldn't be the alternative…whatever that was.

As I fell asleep that night, I had a nightmare. It was the strangest thing ever. The dream was vivid, full of color.

It started out as me, Mom, Dad, and Sammy all in the old house. Sam was grown and telling Mom and Dad how he had been accepted to Stanford. Dad clasped Sam's shoulder and smiled, telling him how proud he was of him. Mom went up and hugged him, tears threatening to spill from her eyes. I smiled at Sam, happy to see him succeed.

Then Sam frowned. The back round changed and melted, till our family was in some crappy apartment. I was distanced from the group and Mom walked over to me. We both stood there and watched a angry John beat the crap out of a 14-year-old again Sammy.

I was horrified as I watched Sam's struggled become weaker and weaker, till he finally stopped moving. Mom stared at me with a serious look on her face.

'Dean, angels are watching over you…but who's watching over Sam?'

After she said this, a hole opened in the sky and Mom disappeared in a ray of bright light.

I woke up and sat straight up in bed.

I looked at the ceiling of the hotel and whispered, 'I will Mom. Always have.'

**Authors Note: I'm sorry I was so late getting this up. I was freaking out over a huge Social Studies project. The dead-lines been extended, though, so I managed to throw this together. Hope you like it! Please review!**

**Oh…I don't own Supernatural, either. Damn!**


	4. Chapter 4

'Dean?'

I heard the voice from the left of me. I woke up to Sam, standing near the doorway, wearing too-big sweat pants and an old, stretched out shirt. His usual nightwear.

'What is it, Sam?' I ask, rubbing my irritated eyes.

'What did you say?'

I started at my brother for a minute. It wasn't that I didn't know what he was talking about, though that was probably what it looked like. It was that I was thinking about what 'Mom' said.

'What do you mean?' I asked, deciding that I didn't want to tell him.

'I thought I heard you say something while I was in the hallway.'

'Nope! That over-worked brain of yours is just delusional.'

Sam smiled at me, grabbing the nearest object(thank god it was a pillow) and chucked it at me. I let it hit me, not really wanting to move.

'Where's dad?' I ask, noticing the empty kitchen just outside the doorway.

Sam stiffened, looking away. 'Out,' he answered sharply. He then looked up at me and his eyes softened. 'Checking out a new lead,' he said, quieter.

'Ah.'

I was about to get up and get dressed when I noticed Sam pulling at the bottom of his shirt a bit. Of course, this caused it to go right back up farther then to revel a bit of his stomach.

I instantly freaked. The dream I had pushed out of my mind for the moment instantly came back. I stood u and walked straight over to Sam.

I grabbed his wrist and made Sam look at me.

'What?' Sam asked, his eyes wide.

'What's this?' I asked, angrily as I pulled his shirt up a bit, reveling a sea of black and blue. In some places it was greenish and a sick yellow color, but those were older.

Sam looked up at me with tears in his eyes and a smile on his face. 'Nothing?' he said, smiling while his voice cracked.

'Oh, Sammy,' I sigh, pulling him close. I never wanted anything like this to happen to him. I was suppose to protect him.

'I…I kept messing up. I can't do anything right. It was only a matter of time before you got hurt because of me. So Dad…made sure I understood.'

'Sam!' I say, looking at him sternly. 'This is not in any way your fault. You're a great hunter and an even better person. Dad…Dad's messed up.'

Sam stared at me for me for a minute. '…no. He's not really Dad. Never really been Dad.'

I hugged Sam tighter. 'No. Dad was Dad…once. Before Mom died. I don't remember too much, but the parts I do remember…well, that was love. I just feel bad you never got to see that side of him.'

Sam pulled away slightly to look at me in the eyes.

'Don't be,' ha said sternly. 'You've always been better than Dad. You take care of me, make sure I'm safe and that I'm well fed…you're a better father than Dad ever will be.'

'Okay,' I mumble, pulling back. 'Enough chick-flick moment for right now. How about we grab our stuff and get out of here?'

'Really!' Sam asked, hope shining bright in his eyes.

'Yep, just-'

I stopped mid-sentence as I saw someone in the doorway.

'Sorry, boys, but I'm afraid I can't let you do that.'

I pushed Sam behind me as I took a fighting stance, ready to protect the one person that meant the most to me…by hurting the person who I meant most to.


	5. AUTHOR'S NOTE

**Okay, just a quick authors note. **

**I have three things that are really bugging me.**

**(1.) I have lots of people alerting this. I don't however, have near that many comments. So, if you've alerted it or favorited, please comment. It's a pet-peeve of mine. Even if you just comment saying 'Nice Chapter' or 'When are you posting more?' or even 'OMG! YOU SUCK!'**

**If you have commented on this, then thank you! You've kept me motivated and I really appreciate all your support and help. =)**

**(2.) I don't get a chance to say this to everyone, so I thought I'd put it here. I know my chapters are kinda short, and I will try to fix that. I just kinda lose interest, so I post it, then later I have an idea and start writing, and then the cycle starts again. If you have any ideas or suggestions, then please message me. I'll make sure to get back to everyone and always enjoy opinions. =D**

**(3.) …okay, I'll be truthful here. I don't actually have a number three, but usually when some says 'I have three things to say', then you only really listen till you know what all of them are and kinda drop out during the middle of the third one…so yeah.**

**Thanks for reading all of this! More will be out soon(I hope. XD). **

**~Jake**


	6. Chapter 5

Looking back now, I realize I was am idiot. I mean…is there really any aspect of our lives we can hide from Dad? He's everywhere at once. Now that I actually think about it, we were doomed from the start.

'Please,' I hear Sam mutter from behind me. 'Please Dad…don't fight. Just…just let us go. Let Dean go. Don't hurt him. I've messed up, I've done wrong. But Dean? What has he done to deserve it?'

John, no longer 'Dad', just stood there in the doorway, the corners of his face turned up in a way that resembled a smile, had it not been for the unfiltered hate in his eyes.

'Dean,' he said, looking at me, the hate in his eyes gone, 'What are you doing here? Sam needs to be…exposed of. He's been messing up things since the day he was born. Mary, my Mary, for some reason beyond me, gave her life so this,' he gestured vaguely in Sam's direction,' could live. He's a mess up. Always rebelling and trying to piss me off. Not like you, not like my perfect solider, my only son. Now, why don't you move so I can take care of him. I mean…you wouldn't disobey an order, would you?'

I was angry. Furious. At John, yes. Oh, there was no way to describe how pissed I was at him…but also at myself, because I knew in the past…I would have listened to him. If it were anyone else, I would have just moved aside. Hell, I'd even hold down the son-of-a-bitch!

But this wasn't the past. This wasn't 'any other person'. This was Sam, my little brother, the one person who's always been there, always wanted me there, and this was now.

'No way in hell am I moving, so you can get it into you think skull that no one, not even you, is going to hurt Sam. For fifteen years now, the one thing I've always been sure of in life is that I'm suppose to protect Sam. He's my responsibility, and no matter what happens, I need to protect him.'

My speech had gotten me even more angry at John. For some reason, voicing you anger, hearing yourself say what's pissing you off…well, it just gets you more pissed off. I wasn't moving, and he wasn't going to lay a finger on Sammy.

'Sorry. Wrong answer Dean,' John said, putting that evil smile back on his face.

I barely had time to realize what was going on before John was lunging at me. I missed getting punch square in the face only because Sam pulled my arm, making me stumble backwards a bit.

'What? Can't even take your old man?' John taunted, wanting me to attack.

'You wish,' I growl out before fighting back.

For a while it was all just a series of pain. A kick to the ribs, a punch to the gut, a smack in the head. By the time a minute had past, I felt like whole body was on fire.

I finally managed to land a punch, though. I felt my fist connect with his face, and that opening was all I needed to start really fighting back. Soon I was landing good, hard punching as well as blocking better.

I managed to hold my own for quite a while, but John finally managed to take me down. A hard punch to the stomach had me doubled over, gasping for air. That was when he pulled out a small pocket knife. My eyes widened as a smirked and held it up, ready to finish me off.

I closed my eyes and waited for the sharp metal to slice through my skin when I heard a noise. Sam, who had been left, forgotten in the corner, moved to stand in front of me. John was bring the knife down when Sam stepping in front of him, a determined look in his eyes. He had been beaten, broken down, and he was still willing to give his life to someone he loved.

I watched in horror as the cold metal went in Sam's chest, between two ribs. Sam feel, holding his fresh wound and beginning to cough up blood. He eyes had a glassy look to them, and they were sliding shut.

That was when I absolutely lost it. I grabbed John's wrist, still in the air from when he had pulled it out of Sam when he stabbed him, and twisted. I caught him by surprise and I managed to get the knife from him.

I didn't hesitate to stab John the way he had stabbed Sam only moments ago, only higher. I felt the knife make contact with a rib, sliding against the hard surface as it moved around it, and plunge into his heart.

I didn't even look down as John feel to the floor, a look of surprise eternally plastered onto his face. I grabbed Sam and ran out the door, grabbing the keys to the Impala on the way out.

Once I put Sam in the passengers seat next to me, I started to drive, ignoring all the little voices in my head whispering 'He's not going to make it' and 'No matter how fast you drive, he's going to die.'

All that mattered to me right know was getting Sam to an emergency room, making sure he was okay, making sure he would live.

Because I had no one left. Mom was dead, I just killed Dad…Sammy couldn't leave me now. Or who would I have to live for?

**I apologize for the late update. My Mom's been having heath issues and I've been at the hospital with her. The doctors have finally figured out what was wrong and have fixed it, but she's still in the hospital. I couldn't even to begin trying to write a chapter when my Mom was like that. I **_**WILL**_** be updating more often, though. So please, don't give up on me now**!


	7. Chapter 6

_**READ AUTHORS NOTE AT BOTTOM!**_'No.'

The doctor in front of me just shook his head and mumbled a quick 'sorry' before turning and walking away, though.

'No…' I said again, this time softer.

It had taken me a little over an hour to get Sam to the nearest hospital. In that time, he had opened his eyes a bit. I made him look at me and talk as we drove, but you could clearly see the pain he was in, weather from his brown, agonized eyes to the way he sat, completely still and stiff, trying not to move.

Sam slipped out of consistence again about half way there, and I immediately drove faster, speeding even more. Thank god there were no cops on the half-empty roads.

When we got to the hospital, I carried my brother in, making sure not to move him too much. I gave them our real names, something I hadn't done in a long time.

As soon as the doctors got Sam stable for the time being, some of the nurses turned their attention to me, giving me a room and cleaning and bandaging some of my cuts. There was nothing seriously wrong with me other than a few broken ribs. They still kept me in the room, though. I over-heard two of the nurses talking, saying about how I shouldn't be alone right now.

I waited all night for a doctor to come in to tell me about Sam. The only thing I had heard was that he was going into surgery to try to get the blood out of his lungs. Eventually the night blurred into a wall of color and sound, none of it making sense anymore. That is, till a skinny-looking blond doctor came in, holding a clipboard with a nervous expression on his face.

'Your Dean Winchester, Samuel's brother?' he asked me. I gave a sharp nod as answer.

He gave a slight nod, too, before continuing. 'I'm Doctor Jenkins. I'm here to tell you about Sam.'

'Is he alright?' was the first thing that blurted out of my mouth. 'Well…he's stable for now, but only for now. We're doing everything we can, but chances aren't good….'

**Authors Note: I'm leaving it up to you if Sam lives or dies. I have written an ending for both, and a poll is on my page now. You can vote for one choice. I will post the ending that gets the most votes after I get 7 votes in. Please comment and vote!….I do not own Supernatural. Just the evil ideas I use to torture them.**


	8. Chapter 7

After the doctor left, I went to see my brother. As I walked down the hall, I tried to prepare myself for what I would see…I knew it didn't do any good the second I saw him through the glass of his room.'Sam?' I asked as soon as I stepped inside.

He looked up at me, smiling the best he could. There was a tube down his throat till he could breathe properly on his own and numerous wires and IV's attached to him.

'Oh, Sammy….' I mumbled, stepping into the room more, right beside his bed. '…..hey.'

Sam rolled his eyes at me, then winces slightly.

I ignored the wince as I looked at him and spoke firmly. 'Your going to be okay, Sam.'

Sam just looked at me, though, then seemed to look at the wires and IV's the best he could. When he looked back up at me, he had a few tears in his eyes. He shook his head slightly, as if telling me I was insane.

'Sam!' I nearly shouted.

After I calmed down, we just sat there and talked. Well, I talked, but Sam listened, his eyes displaying his feelings and emotions.

As I was about to fall asleep that night, after grudgingly being taken back to my room, when I heard noises. I got up and looked down the hall to see all the doctors running toward the doors at the end of the hallway. I was about to ask one of the nurses what was going on when they all came rushing out again, wheeling Sammy, trying to get him to breath again. His heart had stopped and they couldn't get it to start again.

I grabbed a nurse's arm and got her to look at me.

'What's going on?' I asked, trying to keep the panic out of my voice.

'He stopped breathing, then his heart stopped beating. We can't get either to start again. We're trying our best to save him, but…chances aren't looking good.'

With that she turned and sprinted down the hall where the doctors had been moments before.

'…Sammy.'

**Author's Note: This is not the end. I just need more votes, because right now we're at a tie. Please comment and vote! Poll is on my page! **


	9. Chapter 8

'_Dean….I'm sorry. We couldn't save your brother.'_

The words bounced in my head, playing over and over again.

'_We couldn't revive him.'_

Why did you have to go, Sam? Why did you leave me?

'_We tried our best. But it was his time to go.'_

His time to go? He was only 15. His birthday is in three months. He couldn't even legally drive yet. How could it be 'his time'?

'_I'm sure he's in a better place now.'_

A better place? Well, Sam might be in a better place, but he left me in hell.

I looked back up at the doctor in front of me to hear what he was saying now.

'Before he died, before he went to sleep tonight, he was writing. Would you like to see the letter? It seems to be addressed to you.'

'Please,' I replied instantly. The doctor took me to Sam's room and handed me a piece of paper from the table.

'I'll leave now…' muttered before walking out the door, closing it behind him.

I read the letter slowly, having to go over each letter twice before they came together and formed words.

'_Dean,' _the letter started, _'I know you'll probably read this after I die. I'm sorry, but…I can kinda feel it, you know? This weird heaviness dragging you down until you just can't fight it anymore. I….there's this cold all around me. When you came I, it was almost like you were a fire, a source of heat….but eventually even that became cold. I'm surrounded by this numbing chill, Dean, and I don't know how much longer I can fight. I want to wake up in the morning, sitting on the couch waiting for you to come home from your hunt. I want it all to be a dream…please let this all be a dream, Dean….' _I stopped for a moment to look at the spots on the page that were different, my mind finally registering that they were dried tears. I took a breath and continued reading, tears welling up in my own eyes.

'_Do you remember when we were really little, how whenever we were in the car, you had Dad play his cassettes because you wanted to memories the words to the song. No many how many times you had heard it, you wanted to hear it again because you hadn't memorized it yet. Eventually, those songs became my own little lullaby. I always felt safest in the backseat of the Impala with those songs playing, you letting me lay down to sleep, and looking up at you as you mouthed the words to the song, closing your eyes when you didn't know the words or because you forgot because it helped you remember. ….that's kinda what the ride here was like. I looked up at you again, not really hearing what you said, but the songs still played in my head….I wanna go to sleep now, Dean. I've hear my song and got to see you…..I want to wake up, but….goodnight, Dean. I love you…'_

'I love you, too, Sammy….' I muttered as I finished reading the page. The words 'I love you' were written sloppily and small, just about like the rest of the bottom half of the page. I notice whenever Sam writes for to long, his handwriting gets smaller and smaller and sloppier and sloppier. …well, it got….used to get….

I walked back to my room, feeling the numbness Sam was talking about in his letter. I layed down on my own bed, exhausted.

I had another weird dream….it started with a lot of colors slowly forming into solid shapes. When I could finally see clearly, I was looking at Sam hugging Mom, both of them surrounded by this unnatural white glow. I smiled at seeing this….until I saw Dad walking slowly behind Sam with a knife. It was raised, but neither Mom nor Sam seemed to notice.

'Goodbye,' Dad whispered before bringing the knife down. What happened next was probably the strangest part. One second, I'm looking at Dad bringing his knife down to stab Sam, the next I'm looking Dad in the face, his hand covered in blood. He screamed as a demon came behind him to drag him to hell.

I turned around, knife still in my chest, to see Sam and Mom. Sam looked shocked, but Mom just smiled. I looked at Sam again to see blood soaking through his shirt from where Dad had stabbed him in real life. Mom came over to me and smiled again, this time looking directly into my eyes. When I looked back at her, she took the knife out of my chest. I looked back at Sam to see the blood in his cloths disappear.

'Just a dream….' I mumbled, remembering Sam's letter.

'No,' Mom said. 'Not a dream…just a miracle. Do you regret it?'

'No,' I say firmly, leaving no room for doubt. 'It was worth it.'

I woke up, sitting straight up in my bed. I look around to see Sam standing at the doorway with his regular cloths on, nothing attached to him.

'Come on,' he chuckled. 'We have to go. Now.'

I was amazed, but got up and went over to him, hugging him. He hugged me back, smiling.

'Your dead,' I said, more as a question.

'No….' Sam said, a smile in his voice. 'But some angels can perform miracles…if it's worth it.'

**Author's Note: o-o I'm not really sure I like the ending. It just seems kinda….weird. I like it enough to post, but tell me if you got lost. I might rewrite this chapter. Please comment and tell me what you think.**

…**.would I be writing **_**FAN**_**fictions if I owned Supernatural?**


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